BS

Twidle dee Twidle dum. tweedle di tweedle dom. tweedlee dum dum.

which is it?

I am Bored Stiff.

the boss is back. so what?
got tons of things to clear with him. who cares?
ask him how the trip went? who's interested.
deadlines loom. its gonna be my fault anyway. so juz flowing wif it.

annual reports. coming soon.
photoshoot. coming soon.
CI guide. coming soon.
inserts. coming soon.

everything also coming soon. let them come baby.

the hills are alive, why am i rotting here? ah-aaahhhha-aaaaa.

Charity

In the previous episode of the Apprentice, in spite delivering 2 highly successful events, the 2 candidates were still chided for their lack of control and their inability to perform to what the others expected them to. Eg. the gal was often branded a bitch, for not making herself count, letting others do the work while she just goes with the flow in the background. Clever gal, she made it to the final cut, and shone through like a blinding light.

Well, in this final test, both were tasked to organise charity gala events, and they have reporting to them, those previous wannabes who were already fired. Some of them were even fired because of these two jokers. Wow, how do you report to someone who had backstabbed you, cost you your million dollar job! Wonderful twist. But then again, with the bright lights and clever scripting, such bitching were deftly sidestepped.

Now the gal. I think she did well, considering the time frame and massive tasks she had to complete. I won't have done any better than her really. But according to her teammates and that plump SOB, he said her deficiencies were glaringly painful. Never see the boss off. Never spend more time with the boss. Never kiss his ass enough. Hey, his reputation and businesses depended on the success of the event. Sure, she could've kissed more, but then again, it'd have been her ass that'll be kicked. So in a sense, no sweat gal. Next time, spend 1 more minute with the SOB and you'll be fine. Others like delegating "important" tasks that would have allowed her to score even more points are valid enough, but then again, she can only do so much, but she did use her people wisely. Good job.

As for the guy, apparently he has had some military training before, and his delegation skills were sometimes questionable. Look, he was a control freak! He sat behind the computer and managed everything from his "nerve centre". Very different leadership style from the gal. He let his generals fight the war, while he monitored the situation. Good job. My kind of boss. Let you run your socks off, while he enjoys the champagne. Well, that wasn't really fair, coz he did drive around in the middle of the night, looking for the photostating shop. He made some cardinal sins too. He didn't check on the bosses' personal box -- his seat was dirty and the other was broken. "Its alright, I'd prefer stading" was the SOB's sarcastic retort. You could almost see the bullet leave the barrel, his grey matter coagulating, blood on standby to spurt spurt spurt. My sympathies buster. See, the best thing I learnt in this seat of mine is, you never, ever, leave anything to chance. Never assume. Coz if you don't check, and don't have a gameplan in advance, judgement will be swift. In my position, it is is always the little things that will get you condemned, no matter how well you planned, never mind if all objectives are met, or if everybody left happy, congratulating the bosses on a job well done. It is never enough for them. Ultimately, you screwed up on that minor detail, and all brownie points previously gained are thereby erased. You actually OWE them for giving you one more chance to screw up in future.

All in all. Parallels can be drawn from this episode.

The twins are now being brought up by a bunch of good people, who out of their good heart, was willing to work with me to nurture them. In a sense, they are the surrogate mums or godpas. Its their child, but really not theirs lor. They know that these twins would one day grow up, and their contribution, being voluntary, means that when the going gets tough, or when they felt like it, they could easily take a back seat, and enjoy the ride. Or they could even withdraw completely. In this environment, how do I motivate, challenge or even get them to play their fair share? Those jokers, they have the glory and the chance to be on National TV. That, to them, is reward enough already. Here, gosh, the only satisfaction I suppose is when its all over, no cruel unjustified criticisms come our way. Sure, their immediate bosses may think they have contributed and thus deeserve something. But whether that materialises or not, has no bearing on their performance, and definetly, they know I will have no direct contribution in that eventuality. They know it, I know it. So meanwhile, all I could do is to appeal to their altruistic sense of serving for the greater good of the company.

Alone, i feel even more alone. Why did I get myself into this?

Lost

Delivering twins is really not a easy task. The painful labour has finally given way to 2 babies. First the excitment and euphoria. The adrenalin pumps and you are oblivious to the pain.

Now that we are actually working on it, different emotions start to creep in. Invisible road blocks appear from nowhere, some perceived, others are not. You can never prepare yourself adequately... self doubts, feeling of despair, the weight on your shoulders can be pretty daunting.

Suddenly, the floodgates are reopened, and past experiences come pouring in. Never mind that, this will eventually give way when TLC or a measure of light appears. What is most daunting is living up to expectations --- both mine and the others' --- that feeling is immense, and can never be easily overcome in this culture. Will I be able to lead the team, to work effectively with them, let alone motivating them? Will I eventually withdraw back into my hardened shell, and meekly surrender? Or will I be able to overcome all the criticisms and their associated burdens?

These babies, they are pretty high profile. Like all other high profile babies, would be subject to massive criticisms. Will the babies be allowed to develop naturally, or would they be moulded into something how others think or feel the babies should be? Or worse! Be perverted with their sheer ignorance or cowardice?

I feel so alone.

How far can I protect the integrity of the babies, to stamp my vision or authority? Look, its not so much my ego that needs to be soothed. The moment I say "I", it is generally assumed that its because of my vested interest, or thatI am a egotistical maniac, craving incessantly for prestige, power and fame. That is why I am doing all these.

Is that so? I don't feel that I have earned anything by my contributions. Have I ever been praised, promotted, giving a raise? Instead, I feel i have pawned my soul, dembased my passion, lost my reputation. I have only integrity left. Will I loose it too?

Heaven permitting, i shall be steadfast. I must be strong. I must let my leadership qualities shine brightly. For the good of the company. For the collective good of the people slogging away. I must not fail. Roadblocks will forever be present, and they shall be cleared, like all others have been.

misguided loyalty

Most times I wonder what they are thinking. What are their expectations? what are their roles? Sure, I report to him and all, but gosh, I am not the only one. By jove, i am not your presentation designer. No where in my job scope says that i do it. Sure, i do it out my loyalty to you, much like the doggie's job is not to lick me, or play with me, it just so happens that that is the norm. So, now I have to chase others for their ineffencies, and it has become my responsibility to ensure that information gets in to me. Come on! Get real. You got a damn free secretary. Get her to chase. I don't need the info, you do. I am not doing the presentation, she is. I am not here to serve you hand to mouth buster. Some kind of team work. Get others to do what she doesn't want to do so that she will remain happy and smile at you all day. This way, she'll be your darling, and get promoted by default. Others, who have to slog for you, meanwhile have to find ways and means to remain self motivating. Forgive me if I don't smile at you so often. Where got the energy and inspiration. Teamwork. My arse teamwork. My arse has been burnt enough, getting things done for you.

The Football of Life

Another season of the EPL is coming to an end. The champions have been crowned. The pretenders have finally stolen the crown. 2 has become 3, with the help of the Russian mob. The start of another dynasty?

But who really cares? Whether its Chelski that wins the European Cup, or Man U wining the FA cup, the branding of the EPL has been phenomenal. To take a hooligan's game and transform into a a highly profitable and lucrative corporate tug-of-war must be the century's greatest marketing coup. Players earn in a month what others take 10 lifetimes. Ticket prices that surpasses the most lavish musical on earth. Attendance that would put any church congretation to shame. That is the power of the sport. Sheer madness. How can 25 men running around the pitch be more popular than your very own salvation? What must he do? Dying on the cross is still not good enough?

Of course, where the EPL was so successful, other football leagues are floundering, and some are bordering on the insignifcant. Take the FAS for example. Efforts at transforming the brand has been half baked at best, and despite the backing of some of the most powerful corporate sponsors of the island, it still is a nondescript league. Boring can sometimes, at most times, be a gross understatment.

So what is my point about this rant? Nothing mostly. Except that my beloved Man U is getting from bad to worse. A team that I have supported from time immermorial is refusing to admit that something is strongly amiss. What a bunch of losers. A fair weathered fan am I? Yet, Man U will probably come in third, a position that other teams would kill for eg WBA or Leeds. Football. What a crazy game.

At least, my F1 team is at the top, for now, with Ferrari, my other team coming in stronger than ever in the last 2 races. Ahh, so exciting! And Maria Sharapova would soon be the world #1. Oh Maria. There is a god afterall. What a creation. What mounds of pleasure! What an erection of beauty.

The fruits of our labour

Its been a hell of a weekend. The interview literally left me intoxicated, and all weekend, I was trying to force my way out the CEO psyche.My word, how do you take a 14-hr interview that spans half a decade and condense all of that down in a 2 page thing? It can be done, it can be done, it can be done... i dream of it, i think of it when i shower, i digest it when i eat, i ponder over it when driving.

After 3 attempts, I did it. Of course I could claim I did it all myself, hell, I wrote every word of the draft myself, but I couldn't have done it alone you know. There are other ppl in the background that contributed signifcantly to that draft, names I am not privy to share due to confidentiality reasons. But you know who you are, and a big thank you goes out to all you lovely people.

The article is not the only excitement. Suddenly, the whole world was finally falling into place. The CSR is also coming online. The group also has good potential. And I am sure I will have a different kind of experinece there. Imagine this. I am the least high ranking person leading a team of high ranking ppl. In corporate speak, i am a non-manager leading a bunch of managers. Sigh. Am i getting ahead of myself? Will I be vetoed left, right centre? Perhaps I will, but I can console myself by saying its only charity for goodness sakes and get on with it.

After the excitement, and flirtations with the powers that be, I am exhausted. Really exhausted. This is but the beginning, and there are battles, wars out there to overcome in the near future. Press on I must. But first, I yearn for some TLC.

And yes, my condolences to the former president, the people's president. Would we get another days' off?

Leadership

8 years working together. Still largely an enigma. 14 hours spent together. What have you learnt about the person?

Being bombarded by information over lunch, 2 jugs, 2 baskets of chips, 2 bottles of wine, 2 glasses of soursop, I think I understand. Not immediately, but gradually. Pondering over it for 2 days, mostly in a concussed state, this is what I can derive.

Before going into that, let me make a few general observations.

#1. I was not alone with him. We actullay double dated. :)
#2. I realise that to be top notched journalist, one must not only have in depth knowledge about the subject, the person but more importantly, have deeo understaning about general knowledge. Lacking any of the above would radiate through like the sunshine in a cloudless sky. It is blindingly obvious.
#3. Hearing is not tantamount to listening. Hearing is the activation of one of the sense. Listening is the ability to make sense of the information. Be it if you were the cleaning lady, the waiter, and especially if you are in a leadership position.

Well, I manage to hear a lot of stuff, but I did listen to was vague and sometimes border on the insane. The man as a person is without a doubt a decent guy. He, like me, is generally from the confused lot, ie, we are usually misunderstood for what we stand for. Generous and a man with a heart. He is also a typical rags to riches story, start from a humble background, and through sweat and tears and sheer grit, carves out a world for himself. To say he was lucky, perhaps not.

He was unlucky in the sense that he did not have a hero to worship. A true believer that hard work derives success means that he doensn't quite have the strategic acumen and savvy. That is perhaps why he may not be a great man after the dust settles.

Successful, indeed. Afterall, the company is a respectable one in many context. In the army context, he probably has the calibre of being a great captain, much like achilles was, taking his troops out and winning every battle. He is surely not a general, who must have the vision and brash to commit and withdraw resources, to have a clear view of the bigger picture to win the war, sometimes at the expense of a certain group. I strongly believe that a general cannot micro manage, and if he believes he really needs to do so, then let others be the general.

Another huge thorn in his little toe is that he is hesitant to stamp his authority. Collective agreement is good. But someone must come forward to stamp his authority. Someone must set the direction. Someone must put his vision forward. Someone must give the troops something to achieve and strive for. It is easy to say "go and win a war for me". What war sir? which war sir? Who do you want to win sir? The captains, have they asked? Did they bother to find out? Do they know what war was it that they need to fight? A silly general with silly captains fighting a silly war would only result in a lot of wounded and dead soldiers. Is it happening? Yes, it is. Don't believe? Ask me!

See, as a sales guy, I must know what is the industry I need to focus on kind of jobs the management wants. What kind of jobs should I bring back? Any job? Any good paying job? A job that needs me to invest in new technolgy? What? As a puchasing guy, I need to know the budget, and I need to know the objective of what I am purcahsing and fit it into the company's entire nuts and bolts. To blidnly purchase based on a PO, I will never be able to manage to the best of my ability. And, as a communicator, what do I communicate? Just make noise? Just let others know that I want to keep silent? I mean, I must know what the company wants, and based on that knowldege, and only then will I be able to decide on the strategy and tactics. That is perhaps why I feel so much angst. I mean, to cut cost just for the sake of it, "to show the other departments that I am also watching my cost" without weighing the objective is tentamount to not showering at all because I need to save water.If there was a sharper vision about what I am able to achieve, I would be in a better position.

Can I produce a credible yet entertaining article, I think I may be able. But at the same time, I am under no illusion that I will be able to make a successful man into a great man. That is not within my pay scale.