Another Week

I "survived" another week. What have I accomplished? What have I done? Well, pretty much nothing. I have no mandate to do what i was employed to do. Living on borrowed time is really quite painful. Knowing that there is much to do, but not being able to do anything is such a torture. The thought of throwing the letter now has crossed my mind, and the urge has been getting ever stronger by the day. But, I know I cannot be rash. I simply need the money.

Like my friend mentioned, given my experience, I should have no lack of offers. Well, in my current state of mind, I really dunno. I mean, I have amassed enough experience to confidently go forth and explore. But therein lies the problem. Confidence is so fragile, it can be easily shattered. Mine has been shattered since I moved into my current seat.

I guess I have moved from being in a position to effect change to a position where I have no room to even make suggestions. Its not like I am an egotistical maniac, just that the company now has a culture that simply shouts for change, but when change is proposed, there are too many possible conflicts that they would eventually revert to the status quo. And I am not even talking about change that would transform, but merely suggestions to make things move in a different manner, for the good of every one concerned. oh well, its not my fight to fight, and to quote my previous director's words, we must pick the fights, the correct fights.

There are 2 certainties now. I will be leaving. I will be leaving by the end of October. In the meantime, i will do my utmost to leave on a good note. I will contribute wherever I can, and leave my mark in this month or so before I do leave.